This is Why the Small Stuff Matters
A philosophy of seeds - it may change your life.
*This article was originally published by Elephant Journal in 2016.
A Flower. An avocado. A rigid belief system. A loving relationship. A musical composition. Disease. A flourishing business. War. Space travel. A life.
Whatever you see manifested in your life and in the world began as a seed, which through time and reinforcement from internal and external sources germinated into reality — for better or for worse.
I was thinking about this concept of the seed one day when things were feeling messy. I decided to view everything — my relationship patterns, my physical health, my home, my finances, my career, my negative self-talk, my courage as products of seeds that I decided, consciously or unconsciously, to water throughout my life. Then based on the picture before me, I started to think about what realities of mine no longer needed feeding.
I remember reading somewhere many years ago that what makes someone successful has less to do with intelligence and more to do with curiosity and risk-taking. We all have ideas that pop in our heads on occasion which spark excitement and grab our interest.
The successful person according to this definition, instead of discounting these sparks of inspiration, pursues them thereby germinating the seeds of a future reality. The successful person takes what arises within her or himself seriously, becomes curious about it, steps into the unknown (a.k.a. into vulnerability), and then takes a leap of faith.
Let me digress a minute further to elaborate on this word “success.” Now more than ever, we are living in and are the products of a success-obsessed culture where our worth is determined on what we can show for ourselves, how much money we make, how fast we can do what we do, what we look like, how many followers we have and so on.
You probably already know if you read my short piece, Your Success Story Bores Me, that I am all for it, but not so much for the way we go about it. We all at one point of time or another become suckers for success tempted by the great myth, particularly a western one, about what it will bring us.
As I age, however, I get increasingly bored by that narrative, one where we get so convinced of its glory that we hold ourselves hostage to it. We are rats in a race and don’t even know it half of the time!
We overwork ourselves, expect perfection and compare ourselves to others. We achieve success but are unhappy because our success story was based on someone else’s idea or our self esteem gets so wrapped up in what we do that we fail to discover other parts of ourselves.
It’s surprising how deep this pressure to do, to be something, to perform, to….can be and how silent it operates. Sometimes I become aware of it, only after I’m exhausted or get sick.
I think also of all the talented people who died too young from the unrelenting pressure to be a certain somebody, reaching fame too early in life. I think of the plastic surgery and botox craze…
My definition of success is doing that which makes you feel alive, following your curiosity, exploring your interests. Success is failing, falling down, getting rejected and carrying on. Making mistakes are the way we learn and often the source of our greatest discoveries.
Success comes in the form of hobbies and activities you are engaging in while you work a job to make ends meet. Success manifests in the relationships you are involved in, the food you are eating, the places you are living that nourish and give your life a sense of meaning and purpose.
On the other hand, belief systems, places, relationships, jobs and so on that have a “should” attached to it typically originate from deep seated fears and external sources, where we act simply to maintain status quo whether it be societies or our own. The status quo is a safety net, albeit one that simultaneously holds us prisoner.
Back to the seeds
We need to make sure the seeds we are planting and watering are our own. How awful would it be to come to the end of the road, highly successful and very rich, but realize the success you created was for someone else? Alternately, maybe that kind of success is not important, instead you are feeling bored, restless and empty inside, filled only with the feeling that meaning or purpose is missing in your life.
Now may be time to begin thinking about what kind of seeds you are planting in your daily life by observing: the way you are thinking, how you are treating yourself, how you treat others and how they treat you, what kind of energy your work evokes in you, how you feel about the place where you live, the activities you engage in, the car that you drive, the clothes that you wear, the possessions that you own.
Think small, please.
Big events happening in your life are the accumulation of hundreds of small seeds planted across your lifetime. This is why it’s a very good idea as Socrates once said “to know thyself”.
“The closer you come to knowing that you alone create the world of your experience, the more vital it becomes for you to discover just who is doing the creating.”― Eric Micha’el Leventhal
Some beliefs are so ingrained they may feel like yours but, in fact, are not rather the voice of a parent, a big sister or brother or a collective idea. The voice of the mass, as we have learned throughout history is not always to be trusted.
Try examining a belief or situation that doesn’t feel quite right anymore and ask: Whose belief is this really? Is the reality I am living mine or is it the product of conditioning?
Dig deep.
And then make an investigation into the opposite: what seeds are you forgetting to plant? What are you not doing that you need to be doing for your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.
Are you not following through on things that interest or make you feel good? Are you feeling alone and in need of more connection? How is the food that you are eating making you feel? Is it time to buy that pair of shoes or go on that vacation you have been putting off? Time to take a cut pay to pursue the job of your dreams?
On the Seed Planting Process and Patience
If everything starts as a seed, then we know that seeds take time to grow. For example, let’s take the lotus flower, native to Asia and parts of Australia and used as an important symbol in many religions, its luminous petals emerging from the murkiest of conditions encapsulating quite well the journey towards enlightenment.
When the lotus first begins to sprout it is under water, making a home in lakes and ponds where the water remains fairly still on the surface. Underneath the surface, however, the lotus is surrounded by mud and muck, by fish, insects, and dirty, rough conditions. Despite these conditions, the lotus flower maintains strength and pushes aside each of these obstacles as it makes its way to the clear surface.
At this time, the lotus is still just a stem with only a few leaves and a small flower pod. But in time the stem continues to grow and the pod slowly surfaces above the water into the clean air finally freeing itself from the harsh conditions of life below. It is then that the lotus slowly opens each beautiful petal to the sun, basking in the worldly beauty surrounding it.
Whatever we venture out to achieve, whether that be inner peace, financial stability, a loving relationship, a dream job, has this process as its essence — especially if it’s something we feel called to do and are passionate about.
Obstacles are part of the process and part of an even bigger picture. They are the lessons we need to learn about our development that bring us not only to our desired goal. They forge something deeper and unshakeable within that can’t be defined, something larger than our egos and our success stories. Our obstacles can forge an unshakable inner core, that can’t fall or shatter, should everything else fall away.
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